There’s a discussion I find myself having repeatedly with my clients. You may find yourself having it with some of yours.

Or it may even be a conversation you’re having with yourself. And if you are, there’s a good chance it’s stopping your business in it’s tracks. Because this is the one thing that keeps otherwise capable entrepreneurs from really breaking through.

In almost every case it centers on not making sales. On not converting. On having lotsa folks show up for your webinars … and not so lotsa folks buying. Even though you’re good. Even though “everyone says you’re amazing. That you’re even better than [ insert name of your favorite guru here … ]”

What makes this so important is, in almost every case, this road block has to do with one simple but deadly miscalculation:    

Yeah, I know everyone is telling you how important it is to have the “know, like and trust” factor. What they’re not telling you is it’s not important to have everyone “know, like and trust” you.

That in fact, the key to getting paid for “know, like and trust” is to have a certain segment of folks who actually don’t like you. (I’ll explain what I mean in just a moment).

This corrosive drive to have everyone like you, above all else, is what I call Sally Field Syndrome. You remember Sally Field, don’t you? Who gave one of the most memorable Oscar acceptance speeches in recent memory.

(If you missed it, you can catch the crucial part right here):

Now I’ve got nothing against Sally. Or being liked. Or wanting to be liked. But there’s a crucial point about Sally’s speech you’ve probably overlooked:

First … she didn’t get to create great performances because she was liked. She was liked because she created great performances.

Because Oscar-winning actresses don’t work for free.

The problem is … you’re not able to say the same thing about your business. And because you’re putting being liked above being paid, its showing up on your bottom line.

Because the conversations I see so many people having, that are cutting their income potential off at the knees, usually start with the words, “But what if they …”

• But what if they think I’m pushy?
• But what if they think I’m salesy?
• But what if they get mad if I make an offer?
• But what if they think I’m like those sleazy internet marketers?
• But what if they get angry at my point of view
• But what if they get angry when I ask them to work with me?

So … what if they do?

Because want to know a secret? Some of them are going to think it anyway. No matter how nice you are. No matter how big a smile you flash, or how many times you bat those eyelashes.

People are going to come from where they are going to come from, and they’re going to say the darndest things. That’s not your responsibility.

Your responsibility is to come from where YOU come from. Because the same need to be liked that is attracting the people who will NEVER pay you, is driving away the folks who are ITCHING to pay you. If only you’d have the backbone to stop worrying about what “they might think” and start saying the things that will make them vote for the difference you make with their dollars.

That might be a little scary. Maybe even a lot scary. But its less scary than not being able to pay your bills. Not being able to give your kids or loved ones the things you really want to give them. Or giving up on the adventurous, seductive life you yearn for.

Because it’s true! If you walked down the street, handing out $100 bills, some folks will still read you the riot act:

• “Why aren’t you giving it to the homeless?”
• “Rich people! Always flaunting their money!”
• “I bet it’s fake! So, what are you REALLY trying to sell me?”
• “So … are you trying to tell me I can’t make it on my own?”

So if someone is always going to have an issue with whatever you say, why not say what you’re driven to say?

Because here’s the hidden secret: Saying what you’re driven to say usually is filled with:

• Passion
• Focus
• A point of view
• Connection and personality
• And specificity.

All of which broadcast an unmistakeable homing signal to the people who ARE ALREADY looking for EXACTLY that passion. Who are looking for that EXACT point of view and angle you bring to solve their problems. And who are looking for that EXACT specificity and focus that solves their most painful problems. And delivers the precise outcomes they are yearning for.

They’re the folks who are actually hoping and praying for someone they can invest in, who will help them put that nagging challenge (the one you’re so good at solving) behind them forever.

So if you’re ready to stop placing so much importance on “what they might say” and start putting more on what you MUST say. If you’re ready to have your bank account be way bigger then your Facebook account. And if you’re ready to focus on being respected by the folks who don’t have a problem paying you for the difference you make … here are seven steps to make sure it happens:

STEP ONE:

Make a list of all the times you believe “But what will they think if I … ” or “What will happen if I …”. At the end of the month, count up the number of items on your list and multiply that number by 50,000. That’s how much money those thoughts are costing you over the life of your business. Ouch.

STEP TWO:

Go ahead and do the thing you’re so afraid will cost you being “liked”. And count how many times you do it without getting the reaction you fear. (Prepare to be pleasantly surprised).

STEP THREE:

At some point someone may respond negatively. You will survive. (Trust me on that one). Immediately go to Facebook and post “Someone accused me of being a sleazy marketer / pushy / salesy / a luddite, and I didn’t die!” Use the hashtag  #AndIDidn’tDie.

STEP FOUR:

Look at yourself in the mirror and ask, “Am I really a sleazy marketer / pushy / salesy / luddite?” You will either answer no, or collapse in uncontrollable laughter, as the ridiculousness of what you just asked yourself sinks in.

STEP FIVE:

You will finally see it was their stuff all along.

STEP SIX:

You will abdicate responsibility for “their stuff”, stop trying to placate the folks you’re not here to serve, and commit to being responsible to spreading your message about the difference you make to the folks you ARE here to serve. Who are ITCHING to pay you lots of money for you to do it.

STEP SEVEN:

Prepare to receive lots of money from the folks you ARE here to serve.

Now please understand, I’m not encouraging you to go out and be obnoxious, do stupid stuff, and try to piss people off, just for the hell of it. I am giving you license to have a point of view about what you do, and the Ultimate Destination you take people to. And to ask the people who are excited about that to pay you for the privilege of contact with your genius.

And what you will find is having the respect of the folks you are here to help is the only thing that matters. And when you focus on that, you too will FINALLY able to say, “You like me!” and “You paid me!” in the same breath.

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