Ever get an email from someone … that becomes the final straw in you getting off their list?

The other day this happened to me, with a person who had a very interesting success story. So I got on her list wanting to know more. Until I noticed a very annoying habit. In spite of it, I found myself desperately trying to like her. But I can’t.

Because it seems like every chance she gets … she waves her lifestyle in my face.

• The size of her email list
• The new luxury condo
• The cool car
• The name dropping of famous marketing guru buddies

Its just so incredibly, blatantly transparent, I can’t believe anyone falls for it.

On the other hand (and I am just being honest here) I like living a nice lifestyle as much as the next person. And while money can’t buy happiness. It sure can eliminate many of the roadblocks that stand in the way of it.

So … is it OK to wave your lifestyle in someone’s face?

The answer might surprise you.

Because here is the undeniable truth:  The payoff 9 out of 10 of our prospects value most is a boost in their lifestyle. And the payoff most of our products and services lead to is a boost in lifestyle. Even if its not at the “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous” level. Even if the results you deliver are less tangible. And have nothing to do with making more money.

At some point … almost all the results we help create play out on the Lifestyle Line. The problem is … many of us struggle to find a way to convey that. And its costing us.

Because for many of us, talking about this in our marketing makes us feel sleazy. So we leave a ton of money on the table. And alot of folks we could be helping out in the cold. Because we don’t do it.

Well all that stops. Right here. Right now.

1.
If you’re hanging out with some famous marketing guru, don’t just name drop.

Say why that person is important. How they changed your life. What they taught you. And do it in a way that your followers can relate to. Yes you are leveraging the relationship to raise your profile in the eyes of your followers. But you are doing it in a way that connects with people. That reveals a bit of yourself. That teaches. Instead of merely waving a famous name in their face.

2.
Talk about why that car / house / luxury condo you now enjoy because of your success is meaningful for you. Instead of just trying to impress people with it.

Talk about how its the culmination of a struggle. The fruition of a dream. The realization of a goal. So people can see its not just an expensive thing. But its represents something meaningful. Something you doubted you would ever experience. So they can start buying into the fact that the same transformation is possible for them. And that you’re the best person they should hire to help make it happen.

3.
When you share numbers — massive profits or the size of your list — do it in a way that inspires people to go after what they want. Or shares a slice of your own personal journey.

Examples: “Gosh, years ago I never thought I would create revenue like this in such a short period of time. It is possible. Don’t give up!” Or do it in a way that shares a hidden secret. “Today we crossed the 10,000 subscriber mark. And while I am ecstatic, I have to share wtih you just 18 months ago … I was ready to throw in the towel”.

4.
Talk about the impact material success has had on your life. And can have in theirs.

More time with your kids. A pilgrimige to a place you always wanted to visit. A beautiful home in a part of the country you always wanted to live. So your followers can connect with the deeper meaning behind the many things they desire. And the goals they have.
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Because when you do this, people feel they are sharing in your success. Instead of resenting it. Because it leverages 3 very important principles:

• Connection — So they see the story of your success as a source of inspiration. So it actually creates a deeper connection with them. Rather than raises you on some super-human pedestal.
• Possibility — So they understand your good fortune really is possible for them
• Desire — So they reconnect with how badly they want what they want. 99.9% of your prospects live in denial of just how much the absence of an outcome they desperately want is costing them. Its OK to reconnect them with that desperation. Because its the first step to getting them to take action to realize their dream. Instead of merely going on dreaming it.

Now I am not saying every single time you share your own success milestone (or the results you help create) you need to do this. I am saying that realizing you can do it in a way that isn’t nakedly exploitive can be remarkably liberating. As well as create the connection that leads to sales.

Because the fact is … many of us are punishing ourselves by being afraid to share our successes. Or by hiding, minimizing or watering down how we talk about the very real, very impactful, and yes … very tangible outcomes our work makes possible.
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Please know that by being ashamed of talking about results – both the results you have experienced in your own life and the results you help others experience – you aren’t doing you or your prospects any favors.

Wanting a great lifestyle is OK. Really. Sharing it in a way that is meaningful doesn’t make you a sleazebag. Honest.

And talking to your prospects about how you help them achieve the lifestyle they dream of is just as OK. Because that is what a majority of them are after. (Even if they haven’t quite admitted that to themselves). But also know there is a way you can talk about your own success, and the outcomes you create  – even the most naked bottom line results and benefits – In a way that racks up the profits. Helps more people. Doesn’t leave anyone behind. Creates an amazing life for you.

And still lets your love yourself in the morning.

Did this one hit the spot? Or did I miss something? I would love to know what you thing … so be sure to leave your thoughts in the comments!