You know the feeling … and it’s awful. The moment you realize a client has crossed the bridge from being difficult to being impossible.
They are sucking the life out of you.
They are taking advantage of you.
They are resisting you at every turn.
And they’re finding new ways to avoid doing theh work that could turn everything around.
Firing a client isn’t pleasant. But from time to time it’s necessary. Here are some ideas on how to do it gracefully, so a problem doesn’t become a catastrope.
This post is for you if:
You have a client where the situation has crossed the line from uncomfortable to intolerable.
The drama created by this client is sapping energy and focus from new avenues you could use to promote your business.
You feel terrible about it. After all … you’re a coach! You’re good! Shouldn’t you be able to handle anything?
High resistance clients happen to everyone. And it’s important to realize what it’s costing you is far greater than whatever income its bringing in. That there are lots of other clients out there.
And that not being able “to help everyone” is actually your ticket to a much more successful business. Even though it may feel like a blow to your ego. Let’s start!
Great clients recognize your value
When you’re hanging off a cliff, and someone throws you a rope, you don’t say, “Are you sure this is the right rope? I don’t like this rope. It’s the wrong one!”
You grab it.
Great clients recognize your value, respect it and realize it’s the reason the hired you. Even when your guidance takes them outside their comfort zone.
They will grab the rope you throw them, even when they are scared.
When this isn’t happening, this is not a confirmation that you suck. But that the client is invested in resisting what they want, instead of embracing what they want.
The imobization that comes from self-doubt is what locks great coaches and consultants into ‘trying to make it work’ when it never will.
The Karmic Thief
I learned this at a conference from Dave Buck. It’s simple but it’s implications are profound:
The exact things that are making it impossible for you to work with this client:
They are abrasive.
They whine and complain.
They won’t do the work.
And then blame you for their failure.
(Or whatever the problem is … )
Somewhere there is a coach who LOVES working with this type of client.
They love sitting compassionately, even when the whining and irresponsible actions get out of control.
They are experts at dissolving whatever is causing this client to react so emotionally to everything, and bringing them to a new awareness of what’s possible.
By holding onto this client, you are STEALING them from this amazing coach who goes to bed dreaming this ‘problem client’ will walk into their life.
The more you try to hold onto them, the more karma is punishing you with new drama and resistance.
Is it true? Who knows?
But it sure makes letting go of this client a heck of a lot easier.
Don’t make them wrong
Oooooh, this one is hard!
Especially when they’re projecting their own fears and insecurities onto you.
It would be soooo easy to put your self-righteous cap on and show them just how wrong they are.
But don’t! The goal here is not to be right but to be free.
Don’t give them any ammo they can use to create more friction and drama.
Be as neutral as possible in stating the obvious:
The situation is not working. And releasing them from their agreement serves you both.
Get it in writing
You may want to put the release from the coaching agreement in writing, and have them sign it.
Years ago, I realized my coaching agreement committed me to delivering a certain number of sessions. (Yeah I know … stupid).
So this client could return, even years later, declare I hadn’t delivered the sessions and create trouble.
Likely? No. Am I paranoid? Probably. But the line between paranoia and prudence is sometimes a thin one.
So I’ve found its a good idea to have them sign a release from coaching form.
You can phrase is as a way to release them from further financial obligation, even though its also protecting you.
I have known other coaches who have included non-disparagement clauses and other language in the release. In reality you can include anything in it you feel you need to be protected.
The key is to make sure the break is clean, permanent, and get it in writing.
(By the way, this should not be construed as legal advice, as I’m not an attorney and not qualified to dispense such counsel.)
I just think it’s a good idea …
Prevent the situation from happening again
Finally, do everything in your power to prevent problem clients from entering your business in the first place.
First: Ask yourself if you helped create the situation.
Were you needy? Did you have a gut feeling things wouldn’t work out and signed the client anyway? Were there any red flags that in hindsight were obvious?
Second: Strengthen your coaching agreement with clearer expectations and boundaries.
Are there clauses you can add to a coaching agreement that put you in the drivers’ seat when situations like this arise?
It’s always a good idea when complications arise in working with a client to ask yourself: Are there any boundaries I should insert in my coaching agreement to prevent disagreements and problems? Or protect myself?
Third (and this is really important): Use specific qualifying language in your marketing so problem clients won’t even think of working with you.
This can be hard, especially when you need business. But you only need one disastrous client situation to prove to you how necessary it is.
Understand: You’re not making the folks who don’t qualify bad, wrong, or inadequate. They’re simply not a match for the level, intensity and focus of work you want to do with your clients.
To Recap:
Understand great clients recongnize your value.
The Karmic Theif: Your Resistance Client is someone else’s dream client.
Don’t make them wrong: It’s the key to a graceful exit.
Get it in writing: Protect yourself and make sure the break is clean.
Take steps to prevent problem clients in the future.
And one more thing …
One of the best ways to avoid Resistance Clients is to know where to find high-end clients who know your worth. And are willing to pay for it.
And if you’re wondering where you can find them, I have 21 specific suggestions that can make your high end client search a whole lot easier.
